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Posts Tagged ‘civil marriages’

There have been approximately 247 licenses for same sex marriages given out in the US. While a gay or lesbian couple could not have been ceremoniously united until 1983 (in Denmark) or until 2004 in the United States, researchers have been looking at same sex relationships for decades. They point out that gays and lesbians argue over the same sort of things as heterosexual couples do. However, their conflict styles differ, their relationship success rates are higher and they have a myriad of issues specific to same sex couples. It’s no surprise, then, that a need would open up for counseling for civil marriages.

In some ways, a same sex marriage will suffer the same trials and tribulations as their heterosexual counterpart, as both will argue about finances, power struggles, household chores, child rearing, autonomy and intimacy. Also, a 2008 study by the American Psychological Association found that same sex couples are just as happy and committed in their romantic relationships as heterosexual couples.

However, there are also a few differences between those in same sex marriages and those in heterosexual marriages. For instance, gay and lesbian couples fight less over finances because they’re more likely to have two incomes and separate bank accounts. Instead of finances, power struggles are the most common source of conflict for same sex couples. Even so, gay and lesbian couples have a more egalitarian division of labor, more autonomy and higher levels of positive problem solving than their heterosexual counterparts. While same sex couples may have an advantage over heterosexual couples, it is still recommended that they see certified counselors before tying the knot to perfect their communication and problem solving skills to weather the complex issues that may come their way.

Politically, widespread legalization of same sex marriages still has a long way to go. Religious leaders outwardly condemn such unions, arguing that we must “preserve the sanctity of marriage.” Other strict interpreters of the law argue that marriage is defined as “the union between a man and a woman,” and therefore cannot include civil marriages between man and man or woman and woman. Even so, many other politicians and members of society feel that discrimination based on sexual orientation is unjust and unfair. They advocate for same sex benefits and unions that are not called “marriage” to bridge the gap.