Family fun and entertainment

Posts Tagged ‘counseling for marriage’

Numerous studies have been done over the years to uncover the major struggles that married couples have at various stages of life, some of these disagreements delivering the deathblow of divorce. For young couples, money seems to be the major source of strife, in addition to household chores as they adapt to new roles. For middle-aged couples, it’s how to raise the children and for seniors, it’s who will retire first. While it may seem a personal matter, an impartial marriage counselor can lend an ear and some expertise to help you endure these waves to find increased marital satisfaction. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, the counselors say, as couples who weather the storm celebrate their golden years as the happiest time of their lives.

You should endeavor to find a marriage counselor to help you avoid painful emotional outbursts. If you or your spouse spends any amount of time shouting at each other, crying or getting stuck in a constant cycle of derision and nagging, then counseling for marriage can help. Secondly, certified counselors provide added motivation to complete your plan to regain that romantic love again. Sometimes another person’s faith that your efforts will be successful is all you need to believe it yourself. While these may seem like things you might be able to do on your own, the third reason to seek counseling is to gain access to knowledge and strategies to help you achieve your goals. Over the years there have been many studies into human behavior, which can help us recognize our patterns of behavior and remedy the underlying causes of our feelings.

Exercise care when choosing a marriage counselor. Not all marriage therapists are licensed, certified, or specializes in couples counseling for marriage. Most states mandate that licensed therapists have a master’s or doctoral degree, graduated marriage training and have gained credentials from the Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, so ask about these things when calling around. You may be able to get recommendations from your health insurer, your physician, local clergy or friends. Before attending a session, you’ll want to find out the cost and what’s covered by health insurance, as well as the duration and frequency of the sessions. Find out how many sessions you’re expected to attend and what happens if you need to cancel or reschedule.

The cost of a marriage counselor varies greatly. Rates range from $75-$200 per hour, although some therapists will offer a sliding scale based on income. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, the average cost for counseling is about $100 per one-hour-session. Typically, you’ll go in once a week for the first three months, which will run you $1200 for that period of time. Compared to psychiatrists and psychologists, family counseling is 60-80% cheaper. Additionally, the use of counseling for marriage has been show to reduce health care by 21.5%. Also consider that divorces range from as low as $1,500 for a wholly uncontested divorce to $30,000 if it goes to court. According to Smart Money Magazine, the average cost is around $8,000 for an out-of-court settlement. Suddenly seeking certified counselors sounds like a practical idea, doesn’t it?

It seems you’re on two completely opposite schedules to the extent that you’re not even sure who you’re married to anymore. When you do see each other, one of you is rushed, distracted and negative; the other is passive-aggressive, nagging and left feeling unappreciated. Perhaps when the kids are out of the house you’ll just part and go your separate ways. Or are the golden years of your marriage just buried under years of poor communication and unfulfilled desires? There are a myriad of marriage counseling services designed to help you and your spouse get back on track, whether you’re newlyweds or seasoned partners.

For many middle-aged couples, the arguments revolve around finances, careers and kids. If you or your spouse have debt problems, are big spenders or argue over who wields the power of the purse, then perhaps credit counselors can help eradicate the source of your frustration. Often, when we’re strapped for cash, we begin to act out of character and we may begin to communicate poorly because we’re afraid to face the facts. Prioritizing becomes exceedingly difficult if you are living penny to penny.

Additionally, career counselors can sometimes offer counseling for marriage. There may be arguments over retiring, changing jobs, re-entering the workforce after child rearing or not making a stable income. Lastly, disagreements over child rearing can tear at the very fabric of a marital bond, leaving the children to become the unfortunate casualties of such squabbles. A specialized family marriage counselor can help readjust your attitudes and focus, thus arming you with better parenting skills and unified goals.

For the worst situations, marriage counseling services must be specialized. There is precious little that someone who is trained in counseling for couples can do if one of the partners is beating the other mercilessly night after night. Instead, abuse counselors will work with the individual to find the triggers of this rage, teach other coping skills and help a person overcome their violent tendencies. The abused may then seek separate mental health counselors to overcome residual feelings of powerlessness, fear, resentment and self-blame. Once each person finishes extensive treatment, they may be ready for therapy aimed at couples to address communication barriers. Similarly, situations that become destructive due to one person’s alcohol or drug abuse issues will require rehabilitation counselors before counseling for the couple may begin.

Online marriage counseling services are available for those who don’t have the time or the gumption to go to actual sessions. The cost of online therapy with licensed counselors may be $2/minute, which is comparable to the cost of a normal session or they may charge a one-time fee for materials like quizzes, books and skill building presentations. You may be able to email licensed counselors, participate in video conferences or gain access to local resources. These treatments are not as effective as face-to-face counseling for a couple but are better than nothing, if time or money is limited.