Posts Tagged ‘making up’

You can Save Your Relationship

No matter how bad it seems now

You’ve heard it over and overr… “Relationships are tough”. “Love hurts”. “Love is blind”. Blah, blah, blah, blah blah… Open your eyes, human…

The first truth about human relationships is that we are all idiots, who even if given a Life GPS, if one existed,
couldn’t find our way through a day by ourselves. Well, maybe not all of us, but certainly I was one. We’ve learned NOT to use logic
and dumbly rely on pure emotion, advice from our other loser friends and aquaintinances and occasionally
I even heard someone calling a radio station for advice! IDIOTS!
We want anyone else to help us place blame
away from ourselves and flood ourselves with sympathty as we drown in our own sorrow.
How pathetic is that?

Isn’t it time to stop being so self-centered and realize that, it DOES take two to tango! Now there is a resource that I learned to help us.

My parents made the mold for strong relationships. When my Dad died at the age of 83 they were married for 56 years. Wow! 56 years
with the same partner. Think of it. That is TRUE success. As one of four, I would attest that
our family is strong. They were not only successful in their relationship, but also great parents to the four of us.

Well as much as my parents made the mold, us kids broke it. Three of us brothers are divorced. The US only has a 50% average rate!
I not only broke the mold, I totally
shattered it. Why? That’s why I am writing this to you. I’m one of the idiots who doesn’t know enough to learn about saving a relationship
and we take the easy way only to fail again. Yep, I’m in my fourth marriage. BUT, guess what? I am much better off now, than before!

Life is like business. Actually business is like life. Is that the same? You need Focus, Measurement of success, adfjustment
measure again and constantly hone your course. Both take work and attention and if left on their own will certainly fail. For us stupid
humans it’s easier to rationalize failure than to achieve success. So how do we change that?

I can sit here and tell you about everything I learned, but by the time I finish, you will be 56 years old in the making too. Besides I’m
the epitomy of failed relationships. What I will tell you is about a resource I came across The Magic of Making Up, I wish I had in my twenties. I would have learned more at a younger age.
 

Find out more about Making Up here.

Okay, your ex girlfriend broke up with you.  You now realize what you had and you miss her and you really want a second chance.  You want to get her back and show her how much you love and enjoy her.  You can learn more about getting ex back here.

How then can you get a second chance with your ex girlfriend?  The answer is that you have to know the main reason why you broke up.  That will determine how you try to get her back.

There are two main reasons for breaking up that we’ll look at here.  The first is that you wronged your girlfriend in some way.  Perhaps you cheated on her or were too controlling and she got fed up.

Another main reason relationships end is that she isn’t that into you anymore.  She was into you at first, but then maybe she didn’t feel appreciated or got bored or felt that you weren’t the guy she wanted to spend the future with.  “Relationship Drift” happened and she lost interest.

So what do you do to get her back?  Well, if you wronged your girl, if let’s say you cheated on her and she gave you the boot, then you need to regain her trust and repair the damage that you caused.  So the way to do this is with a Smart Apology.  Not just any apology, but a deep, powerful apology that can start to repair the damage you caused in minutes.  You can learn more about Get Ex Back specifics here.

A smart apology has several steps to it.  But the thing is you don’t even say you’re sorry til the third or fourth step.  First, you fess up to what you did.  You don’t try to avoid blame, you take responsibility.  Then you let her vent, and get things off her chest.  You just listen and don’t try to argue.

Just taking those two steps before you actually say you’re sorry can make a big difference in how your ex girlfriend feels about you.  Don’t just keep saying I’m sorry a hundred times.  Say you’re sorry in a smart way and you will impact her emotionally to consider taking you back.

What if she left because she isn’t into you anymore?  Relationship drift?  Then you need to follow a different approach, as an apology isn’t the answer.  You can find out more about this in a free course here.  Getting your ex back involves a lot of relationship intelligence, but this is a good way to start the process.  Get your free course on Get Ex Back here.

So, you finally did her in, right? After all those romantic years of being together, going every weekend treating her for a lovely and sumptuous dinner, watching a movie together and practically doing everything just like any couple who are in love would do, you have finally called it quits. Well, talking about what every love birds do, even the “breaking up” part, you didn’t spare it, right? But why is it that right now, you feel that there is something missing? Why is it that there seems to be a sort of black hole right in the middle of your heart and it’s covered with what they call “pride”? Oh, so, you’re thinking about how to get your ex girlfriend back, aren’t you?

So, what do you have in mind? You let her go in a not-so-nice manner and now you’re thinking about hugging her in your arms again? Well, if you really are decided to do just that, there are many ways that you can learn how to get your ex back. For some, they will just suddenly call her up one day and tell her how sorry he is for what he has done and now, he wants to make up. Well, that’s easier said than done. After what that person did to her, do you think she will just say “yes” instantly, even though, granting that she still loves that guy? No, it would also be difficult for her to say “yes” again to him. She will be thinking like: “Yes, I still love that guy but what if he breaks my heart again? What if I wanted to move on with other guys who won’t break my heart?”

You see, there are many things that you should consider if you want her back again and the first thing you need to do is to let go of your “pride”, humble yourself in front of her. And the only person that can help you is yourself and to help you out, you can find a book guide that can teach how to an ex girlfriend back or an ex boyfriend back…and this time, for good.

It happens in a lot of relationships.  One partner becomes too controlling and smothering of their mate.  They demand to know where he/she was at all times.  Tried to prevent them from spending time with their other friends.  Tried to force them to spend all their free time together.  In some cases, it gets even worse, requiring them to have dinner ready by certain times, laundry done in a certain way, etc.  You can learn more about resolving relationship conflict here.

These kinds of behaviors smother your mate and it is only natural that they will reject you for it.  At first it might have been kinda cute or something, but after a short while it shows up as a big problem for your ex.  When they start to feel they can’t breathe without your knowing about it they begin to tire of you fast.  You get the boot.

Now you want to get your ex back in your life hopefully without the whole controlling thing.   What, if anything, can you do to get them back?

The answer is that it depends on how controlling you were in your relationship with your ex.  You may have caused too much hurt and rejection from your ex.  You may even need some relationship coaching before you get back into a love situation with anyone.  Love and power over another are not the same thing, and mixing them up can kill the intimacy in a relationship.

Hopefully their kicking you out has awakened you some.   People get into relationships for play, love and intimacy, not to be dominated and controlled in the name of love.  So if you have learned something from being kicked out, if you can understand how what you did wronged your mate and if truly feel that you dont need to do some of those things again, that is a first important step, and you have a chance to get your ex back.

The question is, did you learn something from the experience of being dumped by your mate.  If so, that is something that can actually help you get your ex back.  You can get a complete system for Get Your Ex Back In Hours here.

The next step is to have a particular kind of apology conversation with your ex.  Your behavior caused them damage.  You will need to own up to the damage you caused.  You will then need to let them vent, to listen as they let you know how what you did made them feel.  Finally, you will need to convince them that you have learned from them and what they told you, and you wont repeat that behavior.  If you can do those things, you may actually have a chance to get your ex back.

There is much greater detail to these steps than we have room for here.  But learning from your mistakes and convincing them of some of what you’ve learned can go a long way towards getting your ex back, or at least create some room for them to consider trying a date or two with you again.  Go here for a free course on How To Get Love Help.

Cheating is, of course, one of the biggest reasons that relationships break up.  When cheating has occurred, the other person believes “I can’t ever trust him or her again.”

That is a common refrain when cheating occurs.  Trust is essential to close, intimate, real love.  When it is broken, we feel like there is no hope for getting it back.  Even if we loved much about our mate, if they cheated on us, we don’t see how we could ever be happy again with them, how could we trust them after such a sense of betrayal.  You can learn more about how to make up after a break up after infidelity here.

For this reason trust is one of the largest problems in break ups.  Your ex is wondering if they can ever truly trust you not to cheat on them again.  Why get back together if there is just going to be more cheating?  So when break ups happen due to cheating, on of the big issue on your ex’s mind is

I can’t ever trust you again.

I mean, if they rejected you because of some problem behavior, like cheating, or fighting, or not communicating with them, then they need to know BEFORE they let you come back that you wont keep doing the thing they left you about.

But the feeling of broken trust is one of the hardest things for an ex to get over.  After all, we usually feel like trust gets built over a long time.  Emotionally, we believe when trust is broken that our relationship can’t be fixed, right?

It is crucial for you to understand the trust issue if you want to get back with your ex.  You must deal with their feelings of distance and betrayal and lack of trust or you can’t expect to get back with your ex.  Even if you get “lucky” and they give you a second chance, without trust it probably won’t last.  That’s because the love and intimacy we all want to feel can’t be felt when there is no trust.

How might you deal with your ex’s lack of trust?  It’s a complex answer, but one thing that often happens after cheating is we try to avoid the blame.  We try to say it wasn’t our fault.  We say “I drank too much,” or “You were mean to me!”  When a relationship buster like infidelity has happened, we will almost naturally try to avoid taking the blame. 

If you give those types of excuses to your ex, they will often think even worse of you and any chances of getting back together.  When you drink again will you cheat again?  If they are cold or mean to you in a month, will you use it as an excuse to cheat again?  So what you can do instead is to be an adult and to accept responibility.  Take full blame.  Do not give weak excuses to your mate.  You can learn a full system for how to get your ex back here.

Instead of weak excuses, you can say something like “I know I broke your trust in me, and I’m so sorry that I did this and made you feel so hurt…”

This is an adult way to begin to repair the damage to their trust.  Hearing responsibility being taken like that allows us to see that maybe they understand what they did wrong.  It helps lay the foundation for forgiveness.  Just like when you catch your kids screwing up, if they lie about it you just get more angry.  But if they apologize and own it, you can more easily begin to forgive.

There is a lot more to the art of getting your ex back after infidelity, but this is a good start!  Go here for a free course on Get Relationship Help.